As soon as you see the movie titleGodzilla vs. Kong , you know you ’re not in for a legal showdown à laKramer vs. KramerorThe People vs. Larry Flynt — you infer that the way the two titular characters will be play off against one another will be trigger-happy . What if , though , rather of fighting one another , the two fabled monsters decided to settle their differences with a “ who can do the bad poo ” competition ? We take some scientists to weigh in on the details to help us adjudge a achiever .
In this corner: king kong
" Gorillas produce very large volumes of feces,”Dr . Cat Hobaiter , primate expert and lecturer at the University of St. Andrews ’s Centre for Social Learning & Cognitive Evolution , tells Mental Floss . " They have a high - fibre diet and have to wipe out big amount of often comparatively low - alimentation plant matter to get the resources they want . "
Gorilla shite is pretty interesting stuff;scientists practice itto number out everything from a Gorilla gorilla ’s diet to its stress levels . Gorillas empty their bowelsevery few 60 minutes ; typically , a 6 - infantry - tall , 350 - pound gorilla would produce about a half - pound of fecal fabric ( the combining weight of a jolly substantial human intestine movement ) with each go .
Kong is very , verybig . According tostatsput out by the motion picture ’s official channel , he is 337 feet tall and , while no weightiness is given , in his last big - screen appearance—2017’sKong : Skull Island , set in 1973 before Kong was fully grow — he was said to weigh 158 net ton at a height of 104 feet . He ’s tripled in height in that metre , so , take his proportions have remained largely the same , that is likely to mean a 27 - fold increment in weight , arrange him somewhere in the region of 4226 tons now . A 350 - dog pound Gorilla gorilla poops several time a day , and each one consider about 0.0016 percentage of the animal ’s eubstance weight ; if Kong does that too , we should wait 6.6 scads of shite . We ’re look at five poops a twenty-four hour period , each one weighing more than an Apache helicopter .
And Kong wo n’t even seem for a skyscraper to blot out behind ! Unlike some species of ape — Dr. Hobaiter tell us that chimpanzees , for example , do n’t care being watched while they make — gorillas are n’t fussy about where they do their poos .
The challenger: godzilla
What about Godzilla ? “ I consider we can take care to the reptile kingdom to think about what Godzilla ’s scat may calculate like,”Dr . David A. Steen , reptile and amphibious research leader of the Fish and Wildlife Research Institute and author ofSecrets Of Snakes , tells Mental Floss . “ Let ’s sham Godzilla is most similar to a jumbo carnivorous lizard , like a admonisher lizard — a group of fauna that includes Komodo dragons , the largest living lizard . These lizard will waste fully grown but infrequent meals and may finally cast up the indigestible bits , like horns and hair , and poop out what ’s left . "
Lizards are capable of throw away judgement - bogglingly big poops . Everyone remembers where they were in 2020 when they heard aboutthe curly - chase lizardin Florida who was mercifully put out of her misery while carrying a dense turd measuring 78.5 percent of her soundbox weight , but she was an utmost case . If Godzilla—393 foot marvellous and weigh 99.6 short ton — had that much after part in him , he certainly would n’t be walk upright .
lounge lizard poops are n’t like the one human being do . " We get rid of our nitrogenous waste through urine , but reptilian do n’t do that , they produce uric battery-acid , " Dr. Steen excuse . " This uric superman is usually relatively solid and white , and appears as part of the dejection . ” To a layperson , a Komodo dragon ’s fecal subject bet a flake like shuttle poop — dark chunks in white-hot gloop .
“ Godzilla is a sea wight , so let ’s assume he ’s eat up fish and various other lenient - boned or hairless animate being , ” Dr. Steen says . “ I would recollect his stool would be slimy and watery , rather than solid chunks . Anyone that ’s kept a large lounge lizard or Snake River as a pet before have a go at it they often relieve themselves in their water system dish , so I ’d have a bun in the oven Godzilla to take tending of business while he ’s submerged , resulting in a tumid oily slick . "
And the winner is …
Fecal frequency is tricky to work out . Komodo dragons , which are insensate - blooded creatures with wearisome metabolisms , have been known to only poop 12 or so times a year . If that ’s the case with Godzilla , it ’s a big smelly gilt palm for Kong . But within the world of paleontology , there is a public debate over whether large dinosaur were truly moth-eaten - blooded ( poikilothermous ) or warm - blooded ( endothermic ) ; oneNaturepaper from 2014posits that they were somewhere in between , coining the termmesothermic . ( The study of really Brobdingnagian animate being ’ body temperature is telephone , cheerfully , gigantothermy . )
Even with a metabolic rate significantly quicker than a Komodo dragon’s — and the ability to breathe ardor hint some fairly kooky biology — Godzilla ’s poop frequency is likely to be significantly humiliated than Kong ’s . Meaning that if they have a solar day to do as much turd as they want , the gorilla ’s locomote to leave the lizard in the debris .
Although , let ’s be reliable : IfGodzilla vs. Kongreally were a “ who can do the biggest poo ? ” competitor , the real succeeder would be cinema .
