During the seventies , multiple seaworthiness companies try out to capitalize on the “ air shorts ” craze . And yield that we ’re all not prancing around in britches that resemble inflatable diapers , it ’s safe to say that course crash intemperately .
But what if air shorts did catch on in a massive way ? Sure , the health benefits phone suspect ( not unlike those conferred by jogging around in a garbage bag jumpsuit ) but humanity writ declamatory would expect like gargantuan morons . We ’d all be too engaged laughing at each other ’s ridiculous trousers that warfare and criminal offense would dwindle to doodly . In fact , the only crime on this hypothetical Earth would be loving air shorts too much .
So yes , inflatable bloomers could have saved the human airstream , but we had too much dependable mouthful to let them . We do n’t merit the pneumatic Eden they promised . Here ’s a 1971 ad for air shorts in vitrine you want some lively copy to uprise this refinement - saving miracle garment :

This may well be the easiest , most comfortable trim - down method you ’ve ever tried . All you do is slip into these astounding fresh slenderizing short and inflate them with the slight hand ticker we provide . Then merely do a few simple drill , housework or any usual daily activity . What materialize after that is potential to mystify you . The puffy , cozy - fitting pocket of melody which surround you actually make to provide gentle pneumatic support plus effective massage while they engender additional body hotness .
ViaModern Mechanix , Plaid Stallions , and the absolutely amazingVintage Bad Fashions Flickr Collection . Hat steer to The Local Man .
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