Can we stop Green Lanternizing other superheroes, please?

Superheroes have been set aside each other ’s shtick since Year Dot . Superman ’s had Supergirl andthe Bizarro Superman . Batman had Batgirl andCatman . Both of them had theComposite Superman . You have a crimefighting whatchamacallit and someone yoinks it . Hey , it materialize .

But in the last several years we ’ve seen a rapidly blossoming shape of superhero franchising — get ’s call it the “ Green Lanternization ” of comic Holy Writ characters .

First off , I ’m not pinpointing Green Lantern as the sole cause or intake for this plosion of knock - off heroes , but Green Lantern has epitomized ( and I ’d say , vulgarise ) this particular form of storytelling .

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Here ’s how Green Lanternization of a superhero whole kit . Let ’s say there ’s a superhero named “ The Burnt Sienna Desk ” ( hey , I write what I see ) . Along with the power to adorn himself in hue that are at the midpoint between reddish brown and mauve taupe , The Burnt Sienna Desk can mobilize ergonomically sound furniture out of a mystical dimension ( that for our determination here , we will come to to as “ Dimension Desk . ” )

By and magnanimous , The B.S.D. is a pretty idiosyncratic Cuban sandwich . Sure , he ’s got a teen sidekick ( “ The Ecru Endtable ” ) , adistaff counterpart(“The Burnt Sienna Deskette ” ) , some sort of diametrically defined scourge ( “ Sienna , The Desk Burner ” ) , a vintage of oversea combining weight ( “ The Chamoisee Cheveret ” ) , and perhaps a totally unrelated copyright - skirting Tijuana Bible eccentric ( “ Boner Desk ” ) or creature chum from a mostly nonsensical 1970s Hanna - Barbera sketch show ( “ Gallant , the Desk - mold Mule ” ) .

Now , despite this riches of characters who divvy up the Burnt Sienna Desk ’s powers , it never felt like overkill , as these bash - offs were slooowly introduced over the span of several decennium ( with the exception of Boner Desk , who — in a creative scandal that rocked the Tijuana Bible issue globe — was introduced mere weeks after an former crosscurrent - off acknowledge as Bang Desk ) .

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Now reckon if all these character were bring in in one month . Pretty fucking ridiculous , no ? Well , that ’s what it feel like the cape industry ’s been doing over the last duad eld , but with every other superhero .

I ’m not reach the blanket statement that Green Lanternizing superheroes precludes decent storytelling . 2007 ’s Sinestro Corps War storyline — which stick in the evil , scandalmongering - ringed opposite of the Green Lantern Corps — was pretty fun and ( more significantly ) turn over the Green Lanterns A - List villains for the first time ever ( no criminal offence , Goldface ) . likewise , I like that Grant Morrison ’s Batman Incorporated is localise a Batman in every nation , as I ’ve always wondered who the Batman of the Maldives is .

What I am pronounce is that a moratorium is due for the Green Lanternization of zep — in the last five geezerhood , the number of knock - off heroes has inflate absurdly .

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For example , there are 6 separate Hulks running around and all but two debuted before 2008 : Hulk , ( the stalwart and sensational ) She - Hulk , Red Hulk , Red She - Hulk , Hulk ’s son Skaar , and Hulk ’s alternating universe daughter ( also ) She - Hulk . Remember when the Hulk ’s only sidekick were a pair of bust purplish khakis anda sorry pianoforte ? Nowadays we have the Country Hulk Jamboree .

But that ’s not all , the Sinestro Corps storyline has since led to the creative activity of theRed , Orange , Black , White , Indigo , Blue , andVioletLantern Corps . element in the fact that there arefour human Green Lanternsin inspection and repair and there ’s no novelty in being a cosmic blank copper . Heck , Goldface is more of a true original ( here ’s another one ofhis large hits ) .

https://gizmodo.com/a-beginners-guide-to-green-lantern-5812496

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Also , there ’s now a trio of Wolverines traipsing around — Wolverine , his distaff clone X-23 ( debuted in mark in 2004 ) , and his bisexual pheromone - utter sonDaken(2007 ) — thus making Logan one - third - the - best - at - what - he - does . There are three team of Avengers in the Marvel Universe , and almost everyone in the Marvel Universe ’s a penis ( unless you ’re an X - Isle of Man — then you have your own darned job ) .

https://gizmodo.com/wolverines-smelly-son-brings-some-emo-to-the-x-men-univ-5807707

https://gizmodo.com/proof-that-the-x-men-have-the-crappiest-lives-of-any-fi-5808487

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And if character are n’t getting their identity filch , they ’re handing out their abilities like candyfloss . Two of Marvel ’s bragging summer consequence — Fear Itself and Spider - Island — are severally will Marvel ’s super - strong characters with Thor - same hammers and everyone in Manhattan Spider - Man ’s ability . 2010’sHulked Out Heroesgamma - irradiated every other Marvel Italian sandwich , and War of the Supermen slap the Big Blue Boy Scout with 100,000 other superpowered Kryptonians on Earth .

So yeah , get ’s board this superheroic arithmetical for a few years and put our collective noggins together to devise some original , aphrodisiacal crimefighters , like a Wolverine - style vigilance man who can make Adamantium guns come out of his wrist joint gob .

And publishers , if you need any suggestions , I have a 200 - page pitch for Burnt Sienna Desk assemble Boner Desk : ¡ Muebles Erotico ! Just saying .

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