Bekah Martinezis trying to unlearn notions of what a work/life balance should look like as a mom.
In athoughtful Instagram poston Wednesday — shared alongside a snapshot of herself smiling with her two kids, sonFranklin James, 5 months, and daughterRuth Ray De La Luz, 22 months — theBacheloralum got candid about struggling internally with guilt about working and being away from her kids.
“A friend asked me the other day how I balance work and kids. The answer I wanted to give was, ‘you just figure out time management and it all works out!’ " Martinez, 25, writes. “The truthful answer is… I don’t have balance.”
“I constantly feel ashamed about the amount of time I spend on my phone around my babies. Every week when that stupid screen time report pops up, I wince. Sometimes I think about quitting it all and moving into some random forest without wifi,” continues Martinez, who shares her children with boyfriendGrayston Leonard.
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“I’m unbelievably grateful for what I do, and it gives me so much purpose and joy,” she says, “but I also feel SO guilty for the time it takes me away from Ruth and Franklin. Instead of balance, it feels like a battle between two sides that both need me.”
“I also feel like it’s partially a result of social conditioning to have to be everything for our children,” Martinez adds. “We’re expected to sacrifice our desires, our dreams, and our needs. Even though my heart knows that’s not right, my head still feeds me the lie that I’m not a good enough mom if I don’t give all of myself.”
“How do we mamas do it? I don’t know. But if you do, please send help!” she concludes.
Bekah Martinez.RB/Bauer-Griffin/GC Images
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In the comment section, former BacheloretteAli Fedotowsky-Manno— who shares sonRiley Doran, 2, and daughterMolly Sullivan, 4, with husbandKevin Manno— agreed with Martinez. “I relate to this on so many levels,” says Fedotowsky-Manno, 36.
Martinez told PEOPLE earlier this month that though the pandemic “has been absolutely horrible” in many ways, Martinez says a silver lining is that it hasgiven her a chance to bond with her familyin a “special” way that she and Leonard may not have been able to otherwise.
source: people.com
